I DID IT!!!!

To the very few readers that I have :),

So I did something very crazy and I am so glad I did. I took my final exams early and completed RN school today!!! Words cannot describe the accomplishment I feel and how thrilled I am to be done and be myself again. I just thought I'd let everyone know about this exciting time in my life. Now all I have to do is pass my state boards...so studying isn't gone for good...but school certainly is!

WOO HOO!!!!

A HUGE thank you to everyone who has been there to support me through this challenging time and who has put up with me :) I appreciate it more than you know! Could NEVER have done this without you.

"So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised." Hebrews 10:35-36 (NIV)

Wow, where did the time go?

So just a little refresher for you:

in just 2 days, Jordan and I will get the keys to our new place

in 6 days I will be "done" with nursing school

in 37 days I will be getting married

I cannot express how excited I am to be finishing nursing school soon. This time next week I won't have to be studying (for anything except boards, that is)!!! WOO HOO!

I can't wait to get unpacked in our new home and then have a month to plan our wedding and start our new life together.

How exciting! Now, studying for the day-not too many more of these.

God is SO good!!!

So the youth are at camp this week...without me :( Boo! So I have been a big baby about that. Only because I know how much fun and life-changing camp is!!! And let me tell you, it has been life changing for them already and it's only day 2! One of the students dedicated his life to the Lord tonight, many of them have been filled with the Holy Spirit, and they are having a BLAST! I can't wait to hear more of what God is going to do in these young people's lives! He is so good!!! I am bummed I am not there to share in the excitement with them but I am soooooo excited here at home :) Miss all my girls (and guys too)!

So if you follow, please pray for the Ignite students this week. I pray that they would be receptive to whatever God has in store for them this week and the many ahead. I pray that they would have softened and open hearts to Him. That they would step out of their comfort zone and give EVERYTHING they have and are to God! I pray that this week would be LIFE CHANGING. That they will remember Camp 2010 as the summer that changed their spiritual walk. I pray for passion in their lives! I pray that He would become priority above all else! That this would be carried back to Clarkston with them and would spread like crazy! I pray for something beyond what I can ever think and imagine for them. I pray that not one student would come home without a touch from God. AMEN!

Please pray for them any time you think of them this week! Glory to God!

Just what I needed...

God's Will for me to Grieve

His place for me

It's been awhile since I've posted. Mostly because all of the crazy things that life brings. But this morning I just needed a place to "vent" I guess...

Sometimes I just have so much on my plate that it overwhelms me, it feels like it just keeps overflowing to effect every area of my life. I feel like no one really understands. If only I could do the things that are most important to me all the time and spend time with the people I love whenever I want, wouldn't that be perfect? There are only a few more weeks of the craziness of school. But then there is wedding planning and moving. Then there are my RN boards. Then I'm sure there is something else. There is always something! I just wish that I could do what I want to be doing these few short weeks before moving...

Lately I have just felt especially alone and left out. Not a fun feeling to have, that's for sure. I just become so frustrated with the situation in general and I continually let it bother me. Today I was reading and I came across this verse,

2 Chronicles 6:2-"I have surely built You an exalted house, and a place for You to dwell in forever.”

The Lord has a place for me in His house, He has promised that to me in His word. And I know I should have comfort in that. I am valuable to Him and He loves me so much.

Psalm 147:3-"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."

For any of you reading, if you would just pray for me. It really does hurt to be the one not included or to feel like no one is there and I know that God hears my cries and that someday I will be right where He wants me, right "at home".  Please just pray that God would comfort me, that He would help me to find that place where I "belong", that He would bring me those friends & family that are "there" and that accept me for who I am, that He would bring me unconditional love. I thank Him for those that He has given me and for the love and acceptance that He continually shows me day in and day out, I certainly don't deserve it. Thank you Lord!

He is saving me...

2 weeks ago, my Grandma passed away. She was like a Mom & a Grandma combined (the best combination) and she was my very best friend. I miss her more than words can express. Love you Gram! 

You know, I've really been holding it all together pretty well. God has truly given me more peace and comfort than I could have ever imagined. For that, I am truly thankful. But for some reason, it still doesn't replace the huge void I feel in my heart. I miss her so much and I know that's never going to go away. But what is hurting me the most right now-and maybe it will change with time, maybe not-is that I  lost my very best friend. She was the one who I called every day. She was the one who I called with accomplishments, excitement, laughter, and tears. I called her for every little thing that happened in my life, and every big thing as well. She was the one that I would go spend the weekend with, instead of going out with friends. She was the best shopping buddy and she loved going out to eat (as do I)! Who do I do those things with now? I just feel so lost. I know there isn't anyone that will ever replace her, there never will be. But it felt so good to know that I had the best friend I could have ever asked for...but the loneliness and emptiness I feel now doesn't feel as good.

Last night, I was really feeling sorry for myself. I haven't really done that yet. But I am just really feeling lonesome, it sucks not having a really great friend to rely on. Then I realized, all this emptiness and hurt that I'm feeling...why can't God be that for me? As I was praying and pouring out my heart to Him, it just hit me that-God wants to be my best friend. Maybe if I let him fill the void I'm feeling, the emptiness, maybe I can deepen and find a new aspect of our relationship. He has been the one that has listened to me cry, listened to my anger, my fears. He has comforted me, given me peace and strength. He truly is all I need. And maybe He is all I need in a friend too. 

On my way home I heard this song by Josh Wilson. Wow, does it ever apply to me right now:

Savior, please take my hand
I work so hard, I live so fast
This life begins, and then it ends
And I do the best that I can, but I don't know how long I'll last


I try to be so tough
But I'm just not strong enough
I can't do this alone, God I need You to hold on to me
I try to be good enough
But I'm nothing without Your love
Savior, please keep saving me

Savior, please help me stand
I fall so hard, I fade so fast
Will You begin right where I endAnd be the God of all I am because You're all I have

Hallelujah
Everything You are to me
Is everything I'll ever need
And I am learning to believe
That I don't have to prove a thing
'Cause You're the one who's saving me

God-please save me. Please carry me through these next few months. Please help me remember You are all I need. Thank you, Lord! 

I miss you Grandma, so very much. I wish you were here. Love you! 

I LOVE finding new worship songs!

I heard this song on my way to clinical this morning. What a blessing it was to me! Please listen, it's most definitely worth it! Our God really is amazing, I love Him so much.

A new fav for sure!

Distractions, Distractions

I am a very distractable person. If I'm supposed to be doing something-whether it be studying, cleaning, wedding, etc. it's not hard to pull me away from the task. It's no surprise to anyone how busy I am at the moment. This summer is going to be the biggest whirlwind of my life. Sometimes, I forget to breathe. Now, I don't think everyone understands how busy I actually am. I don't care to explain it either because you still probably wouldn't :) But let's just say the last thing I should be doing is a) blogging b) making a silly inspiration board c) be on the internet period.

But, nonetheless...well after midnight this is what consumes my time. Nothing productive. I love doing inspiration boards, you would think that I would do them in relation to my wedding...but no. For some reason, with only 3 months to go...I still have not hit my wedding planning overhaul yet. In fact, I have so much to do that I should be screaming or crying at this point. But I simply just think it's going to get done itself apparently. So last night...with my to do list glaring at me, this is what I did for fun. Not studying or wedding planning, not getting my ginormous to-do list done. But dreaming of what my apartment is going to look like :) Stylemepretty.com has the best inspiration board planner ever! So this is what I came up with:




I so cannot wait to be married and moved into our new home :) It's going to be wonderful and I am so very excited!!!


3 months and counting <3

Attitude

I read a quote today that said:

"Life is 10% what happens and 90% how you react to it."

I've heard it before but it hasn't ever struck me like it did today. I really need to remember this in my life each and every day.

Here is to taking control of my reactions! What a positive outlook on life :)

PS- The countdown has officially begun. There are 100 days until I am Mrs. Jordan Starks!!!