Mouthy much?

So yesterday morning after getting up with Carter, making him breakfast, and watching his morning cartoons with him I decided that I was keeping him home from school so that we could have a "Mommy & Carter Day". Now, those of you that know me know that my schedule sadly hasn't allowed for very many of these lately so I was very excited! So I called to let preschool know and it was official...I had him all to myself for the day :)

It was a wonderful day-we had so much fun. I was just enjoying him and all the things that 2 year olds bring to a Mom's life. Until about Noon-ish. Carter wanted a grilled cheese sandwich so I made him one, cut it into the shapes he wanted, got him his favorite "chocolate nilk" and we were enjoying our lunch together. Now I like to dip my grilled cheese in ketchup-so of course I passed that trait along to my son. So he too, likes do dip his grilled cheese into ketchup (along with just about everything else). So as he dipped his sandwich into the ketchup he got some on his cheek. The rest of the story goes something like this:

Carter: Mom, I need a napkin.
Me: Okay sweetie, let me get one for you. (Proceed to get him a napkin and hand it to him).
Carter: Mom! This is NOT a napkin.
Me: Yes it is Carter, wipe your face.
Carter: NO!!! Throws the napkin and slams his plate on the table.
Me: (Very firmly) Carter-we do not act that way! You don't tell Mommy "No" and you don't slam things down. That is not nice behavior. ( I get up and start doing the dishes from lunch).
Carter: (About 2 minutes later) MOM! YOU DON'T TALK TO CARTER THAT WAY!!! (With his finger pointed at me).
Me: Excuse me? What did you say?
Carter: Repeats above.
Me: Talk to you what way?
Carter: MEAN!
Me: Carter, YOU don't talk to ME that way! You go sit in time out RIGHT NOW!
(He goes over to time out and has a seat. As I sit him down he looks at me and as plain as day says...)
Carter: Mom, it's okay. I forgive you.
Me: (Silently to myself) ARE YOU KIDDING ME? HE FORGIVES ME??? WHAT A LITTLE BRAT! HOW DARE HE?! UGH! What am I supposed to say to that? Who does he think he is?
(Aloud) UGHH! Carter, Mommy won't say she is sorry for disciplining you...blah blah blah blah (don't even remember). All I know is that I was arguing with my 2 year old. Arguing with him. Really? Who does that? So I just trailed off saying who knows what in the kitchen as I finished the dishes.

After time out I tell Carter that he needs to tell Mommy he's sorry for talking to her that way...

Carter: No, it's okay Mom. I don't.

Where do I go wrong? He'll be 3 at the end of May. What's he going to say when he's 6? Or 16? Sheesh! Lord help me!

Wedding Website!

Hey everyone,

So it's been awhile since I posted but I've been a busy girl-what's new right? But I got a free second this past weekend to finally work on our wedding website. So here it is:

http://www.mywedding.com/jordanandjessicastarks.


It's still quite the work in progress and some more things I would like to add, but I wanted everyone to get a peek at it-I thought it was pretty cute. More pictures, details, etc. to come. 


In other news, I got to see my Grandma this past weekend. (For those of you that don't know I am extremely close with her. She is an amazing woman and I love her so much. She was diagnosed with cancer last year and then fell and broke her hip in November-so it's been a rough year but God has been getting us through :) ). Anyway, she is doing well. She is getting around much better since she broke her hip-even going a little bit without the walker which is awesome! She has been getting up and around and using her exercise bike as well. She is working so hard :) She is still undergoing chemo treatments and we aren't sure how long those will be lasting but we are just praying for healing in her body!!! The cancer is still "stabilized". It is not growing but it is not shrinking either. But I'm believing in a miracle! It is so nice to get to spend time with her. I love it more than anything. Such a good weekend-weekends with her are the best! Please keep praying!!! Our God is one that heals and performs miracles! 


I'm on spring break by the way!!! WOO HOO! Still not sure why it's at the end of Feb. and why there is a bunch of snow on the ground, but I'll take what I can get. Still a busy week, trying to get a dent in wedding planning (hence the website)...but I'm getting there! I'll post soon! Enjoy the website!!!

You better be in bed!

Funny story: 


After we tucked Carter in tonight he sneaked out of bed and was laying by his door. We knew he was there but were ignoring him in hopes he would return to his bed...he did not. So he kept sighing really loudly to get our attention. Finally, Jordan said to me (loudly), "Mommy, did you know that all the little boys that aren't in bed get spankings?" Carter didn't budge. "I'm going to have to spank all the little boys named Carter that aren't in their beds." After a few rounds of this we didn't hear Carter move so Jordan said, "Okay, I'm going to go spank any little boy that isn't in his bed." Carter yells from his room, "DADDY! I AM IN MY BED!!!" with annoyance. Sure enough, there was Carter in his bed. 


So cute. 

Oh where to go from here...

So, as I said earlier in the week...there are some very new and exciting things happening in our life right now! Now brace yourselves, this was very unexpected so it may come as a big surprise to many of you reading!

Jordan and I went to a Winter Camp recently as youth leaders for our church's youth group. This group of kids are just so amazing and the leaders that are involved in this ministry are awesome!!! We were very blessed to be apart of such a life changing weekend, not only for the students-but for us as well.

While we were there-on the last night of service, Jordan had a word spoken over him by the speaker. In a nutshell-the word was that Jordan is called to ministry and has the gift of prophesy in his life. That the things God has for him in ministry are bigger than we can even think or imagine right now-but they will be fulfilled.

When we left I really didn't know what to think about it and neither did Jordan-he was just really excited and so was I! We didn't really get the chance to discuss it until we got home to Midland but in my mind, we would just really pray and actively seek what God has and if ministry is it then awesome! I also remembered that in the Bible it says that when a word is spoken over someone it will be confirmed two or three times. So I naturally thought 'well, we have at least one more time to hear this word from God for us to be sure that it was a legitimate word.' Of course, questioning if this really was something that God had for us. After getting home and talking with Jordan he really shared his heart with me on it. He said that he has had this word spoken over him before (not the gift of prophecy, but his call to ministry)-and that this was the third time. I wasn't all too familiar with the two times before, but it was never something that we really talked about pursuing in our life together-especially as a calling from God. So of course I was blown away, as was he, to get a word like this from the Lord a third time. 

Jordan feels, as do I, that this was a confirmation from God that he is supposed to be in full time ministry. With that being said, when God calls one he also calls his spouse. Being the lucky girl I am that gets to be me in September! In my heart, I've always felt like that my husband would be involved in ministry somehow-I just didn't know any details. With Jordan leading worship for the youth I just assumed this is what He had. But apparently He has much bigger things in store for us! I am up for anything that God has for us and I am just ecstatic to be going on this journey with him. 

So-not really knowing where God is going with this or where to go from here...we are just actively praying for God's guidance on what exactly He has called Jordan to do in the ministry, where He has called him to, and how he is going to get there. We would appreciate your prayers more than anything as this is a very exciting and overwhelming time. Obviously, this wasn't something we expected but we are seeking God's guidance and will with our whole hearts because we are willing to do whatever it is that He has for us. So if you would, please please please be praying for God's will to be made clear to us so that we only go in the direction that He has for us and that we would hear clearly from Him. 

Thank you all so much and we are just so thrilled to be as blessed as we are! We will definitely keep you posted on any new happenings! :) 

Goin' to the chapel and we're...

Gonna get married! Today is 7 months from the day I say "I do" to the man of my dreams. Can you believe it?

seven months


That is almost half of a year.

I cannot even begin to express how excited I am!!!

Also, in a blog coming later this week or next when I have longer than 5 minutes to sit down and breathe (it's been a crazy week-as will next week, but I'll find time), there are some really exciting things happening in our lives and I just ask for everyone's prayers for direction and guidance! More to come on that later...

 I'm off to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit today. A very hard place for me to be. Going to make it a good day anyway-no matter how sad I am. Have a great day everyone!

"Eptember Free"

AKA- "September 3" The day we are getting married.

Can I just say, that I think my son is the cutest little boy in the entire world? ( I know, I know-all moms think this...but Carter really is just so precious).

We've had wedding on the brain all day. We've been looking at which flights to book for our honeymoon and let me just tell you-I can NOT wait until I am married and on my honeymoon. I am so anxious and it seems like I have so long to go. I've heard it only gets worse, so this should be fun :)

So anyway, tonight Jordan and Carter were having a little chat. Jordan was asking Carter who was getting married? And Carter simply said, "Mommy!" So Jordan was explaining to Carter how when we get married, he will be here all the time-when Carter gets up, when he goes to bed, etc. So Carter was very excited to say the least. He is always asking when he gets up, "Where is Daddy? He's not at home. He's not at work. He's coming here. Etc." He told Carter that not only are Mommy and Daddy getting married-but Daddy and Carter were getting married too. Now Carter just thought that was the coolest thing.

When I came downstairs Carter ran into the living room and said, "Carter and Mommy and Daddy are gettin' MARRIED!" So precious. So here's a little clip of me asking Carter-"Who's getting married?"

Marriage Prep

So Jordan and I enjoyed our first marriage counseling session last night. I don't know if this is weird, but I'm actually really really excited to be counseled before we take this gigantically huge step into the rest of our lives. So not knowing what to really expect of marriage counseling, we go last night to meet with Kurt-our marriage counselor. After discussing life and our future marriage plans-Kurt says, "Well, I bet you guys didn't know this...but you are going to be taking a test today." So I've heard about my friends who have gotten married that have taken these tests-and I was actually hoping we would get to take one-but I didn't know I had to take this thing on our first day, right?

So after Kurt assures us that this test has no right or wrong answers and that it is just to show our strengths and our "areas of growth". Notice he didn't say weakness, he said-"areas of growth". He makes it sound so nice doesn't he?

So we get this test booklet and scantron. This is official-we get scantrons and #2 pencils. I open up this book...and it's 165 questions! I'm thinking, wow they should really have us all figured out by the time we're done. So we take this hugely long test and we finish it, turn it in. Phew! We survived.

But then I start thinking. And if you know me, you know that I'm an over-thinker. Of just about everything. So I'm like, "should I have answered that 'strongly agree' or just 'agree'? Because if I just say 'agree' does that imply that I'm too nonchalant about it? But then if I would have said 'strongly' doesn't that mean I'm overly opinionated?" Yep, this is what I think about after I take a test. Not for a grade, but to assess my relationship with Jordan. So what if I suck at my relationship with Jordan? Is it going to tell me? hahaha, I'm just kidding :) I was joking with Kurt asking, "So when we are done, is it going to give us a percentage of how compatible we are? Will you just have to tell us if it recommends we don't even proceed with the counseling?" :)

So maybe I'm a little paranoid to see where all my areas of weakness-ahem-"areas for growth" are. But I'm actually so incredibly excited to assess our relationship. It is going to be such a good insight on our current relationship and what areas we need to work on for our marriage. What a great opportunity marriage counseling is. To be able to hear wisdom from a pastor who will pray with you and over your future marriage, get insight to marriage itself, and truly be able to learn so much more about each other and grow in our relationship is just so awesome!

Makes me even more excited for the wedding! For those of you interested: only 226 more days!!!!

I think we may have a problem on our hands...

So I was speaking to Carter's preschool teacher this past weekend. She is such an amazing and wonderful woman. We are so blessed to have her apart of Carter's life each and every day just pouring into him. It's also very nice that she goes to our church and I can talk to her outside of school about Carter-the cute things he does at school, his progression into the smart little boy that he is, and in this case...the not so sweet side of my son that I don't see at home.

As I was talking to her this past Sunday morning, she told me this story about Carter that I found well-rather disturbing. This is how she put it in a nutshell: "During circle we will be reading or singing and all the 2's sit in the back together in these little chairs. Carter will look to his left, then to his right, and then scootch his chair over to his 2 year old "buddy" sitting next to him. And, brace yourselves...he will turn to him and...choke him." Yes, I said choke. Like with both hands around the other toddler's neck. My son is the one at school that CHOKES kids!!! AH! During the song 'Jesus Loves Me' nonetheless.

Now, I do not teach him to choke at home. I don't even know where he learned how to choke someone. And now he is this crazy little boy at daycare that runs around and is being violent with other kids. (Possibly a slight exaggeration). Oh and that's not all. Not only is he the child that chokes the children at school, he is also the temper tantrum thrower. Yep, the annoying child that throws himself on the ground every time he doesn't get his way and "cries" but still peaks to see if you are paying attention. Yeah...that one's mine!

Although I found this very disturbing that my sweet, innocent Carter is projecting violence onto other preschoolers during circle time, I found it slightly more disturbing when his teacher proceeded to tell me how the State of Michigan would like her to handle discipline in her child care center. Instead of the good old, "Carter, stop choking so and so." or "Carter, we don't do that here. Please take your hands off of so and so." or "Carter, that's enough. If you can't behave we are going to have a time out." or for crying out loud just GIVING him the time out-they recommend that you do the following:

• Tell the victimized child that he or she needs to tell the child (mine, in this case) that is choking them: "Bob, you need to tell 'your friend' to please remove their hands from your neck." 
• Completely disregard the child that is the one being bad.
• Only address the poor child that is being "picked on" by the other.
• For example: If a Bob is hitting Suzy as the child care provider you need to tell Suzy, "Suzy, please tell "your friend" that you do not like it when he hits you and to please stop." Do not say anything to Bob who is obviously deserving of some sort of discipline. According to the State of MI (or whoever does these childcare classes) this is due to the fact that it would be negative to address Bob in any way and he was just hitting girls because he wanted her to play with him.
• First of all, why do they refer to it as "your friend". Obviously "their friend" is being quite rude and should not be hitting. Not only that, I don't think we should be teaching our children that everyone is their friend. That is simply not true and I think will only lead to problems down the road. But that is for another day...
• Secondly, they are 2!!! Tell them absolutely not and sit their butts in time out. Then they need to apologize. 
• Thirdly, do these people that make these ridiculous child care rules even work with children? Do they even have children? My guess is no.

Being negative to your child all the time is one thing. Telling them that choking is unacceptable is probably NOT going to scar your child for life. In my opinion, you can discipline while still exemplifying positivity as a parent or caregiver. Geez, when Carter has kids it's going to be: Well, we don't really intervene when children bring weapons to daycare because it would have a negative impact on the child to tell them it was wrong of them to bring their Dad's pocketknife to daycare. If they stab someone, we try to explain to the child that was stabbed that the other child just wanted to play with them. LOL, Okay just kidding :) But seriously!?

Anyway. So I have the violent and crybaby child :) And thankfully they just love him and discipline the right way (in my opinion). We are blessed to have such wonderful people taking care of Carter.

Lord help me know how to discipline a two year old. Apparently, I am clueless :)

Spaceman Boots

So Carter has put on his first pair of shoes all by himself!!! How exciting! Mind you, this wasn't in preparation for leaving to go anywhere when I usually ask him to try, he found these shoes in his closet and decided that he wanted to wear them. When he came out of his room, he said, "Mommy, look! I put my boots on all by mysef!" And he was wearing these:

These, are his "space man boots!" He will not take them off. He insists upon wearing them around the house with his jeans tucked in them. And he is very happy to have such 'stylish' new shoes:

He is just too cute! If I do say so myself :) We finally got them off of him for his bath. And we shall see what shoes he opts to wear for school tomorrow. Such good fashion sense I instill in him.

i have a blog now

Get excited. Not only does everyone enjoy reading the many Facebook status updates that I post from day to day, thinking everyone cares about what I happen to have to say at that moment. Which most people don't :) But now I have this web journal to share my thoughts, prayers, feelings, revelations, rantings, excitement, accomplishments, etc. for all to read as they please. Follow if you wish to get a deeper (or not so deep) look into the daily happenings of me!

Warning: I am really really bad at keeping a journal so I probably won't be so good at this. But I thought it would be a fun way to vent and reflect upon life, etc. So I'm giving it a shot. Just one more thing to occupy my study breaks! That's all I need, right?