I think we may have a problem on our hands...

So I was speaking to Carter's preschool teacher this past weekend. She is such an amazing and wonderful woman. We are so blessed to have her apart of Carter's life each and every day just pouring into him. It's also very nice that she goes to our church and I can talk to her outside of school about Carter-the cute things he does at school, his progression into the smart little boy that he is, and in this case...the not so sweet side of my son that I don't see at home.

As I was talking to her this past Sunday morning, she told me this story about Carter that I found well-rather disturbing. This is how she put it in a nutshell: "During circle we will be reading or singing and all the 2's sit in the back together in these little chairs. Carter will look to his left, then to his right, and then scootch his chair over to his 2 year old "buddy" sitting next to him. And, brace yourselves...he will turn to him and...choke him." Yes, I said choke. Like with both hands around the other toddler's neck. My son is the one at school that CHOKES kids!!! AH! During the song 'Jesus Loves Me' nonetheless.

Now, I do not teach him to choke at home. I don't even know where he learned how to choke someone. And now he is this crazy little boy at daycare that runs around and is being violent with other kids. (Possibly a slight exaggeration). Oh and that's not all. Not only is he the child that chokes the children at school, he is also the temper tantrum thrower. Yep, the annoying child that throws himself on the ground every time he doesn't get his way and "cries" but still peaks to see if you are paying attention. Yeah...that one's mine!

Although I found this very disturbing that my sweet, innocent Carter is projecting violence onto other preschoolers during circle time, I found it slightly more disturbing when his teacher proceeded to tell me how the State of Michigan would like her to handle discipline in her child care center. Instead of the good old, "Carter, stop choking so and so." or "Carter, we don't do that here. Please take your hands off of so and so." or "Carter, that's enough. If you can't behave we are going to have a time out." or for crying out loud just GIVING him the time out-they recommend that you do the following:

• Tell the victimized child that he or she needs to tell the child (mine, in this case) that is choking them: "Bob, you need to tell 'your friend' to please remove their hands from your neck." 
• Completely disregard the child that is the one being bad.
• Only address the poor child that is being "picked on" by the other.
• For example: If a Bob is hitting Suzy as the child care provider you need to tell Suzy, "Suzy, please tell "your friend" that you do not like it when he hits you and to please stop." Do not say anything to Bob who is obviously deserving of some sort of discipline. According to the State of MI (or whoever does these childcare classes) this is due to the fact that it would be negative to address Bob in any way and he was just hitting girls because he wanted her to play with him.
• First of all, why do they refer to it as "your friend". Obviously "their friend" is being quite rude and should not be hitting. Not only that, I don't think we should be teaching our children that everyone is their friend. That is simply not true and I think will only lead to problems down the road. But that is for another day...
• Secondly, they are 2!!! Tell them absolutely not and sit their butts in time out. Then they need to apologize. 
• Thirdly, do these people that make these ridiculous child care rules even work with children? Do they even have children? My guess is no.

Being negative to your child all the time is one thing. Telling them that choking is unacceptable is probably NOT going to scar your child for life. In my opinion, you can discipline while still exemplifying positivity as a parent or caregiver. Geez, when Carter has kids it's going to be: Well, we don't really intervene when children bring weapons to daycare because it would have a negative impact on the child to tell them it was wrong of them to bring their Dad's pocketknife to daycare. If they stab someone, we try to explain to the child that was stabbed that the other child just wanted to play with them. LOL, Okay just kidding :) But seriously!?

Anyway. So I have the violent and crybaby child :) And thankfully they just love him and discipline the right way (in my opinion). We are blessed to have such wonderful people taking care of Carter.

Lord help me know how to discipline a two year old. Apparently, I am clueless :)